Still Falling Upward (Amelia Earhart)

Lyrics

[Verse 1]
You flew alone
across the Atlantic
because a man
had asked you
to sit
in the cabin
as a passenger
while two men
flew the plane
and you sat
in the cabin
as a passenger
and the cabin
had the damp beige weight
of a waiting room
built for someone
who was not
you
and you decided
the next crossing
would not
have a waiting room
in it.

[Verse 2]
The next crossing
was yours.
The fuel
tasted like cold pennies
in the back
of your throat
for fifteen hours
and the altimeter
gave you a number
and the number
tasted like the color
the Atlantic
turns
at three
in the morning
when no one
on either continent
knows
where you are
and you preferred it
that way.

[Chorus]
The last flight
was the equator.
Thirty thousand miles.
You made it
to the part
of the Pacific
where the island
was supposed to be
and the island
was not there
and the radio
went quiet
the way a radio goes quiet
when the frequency
has outlasted
the fuel
and the fuel
has outlasted
the patience
of the ocean
to keep
explaining
where you are.

[Verse 3]
They never found
the plane.
They looked
for the plane
the way
the century
looked
for a woman
who had stopped
needing
to be found —
with binoculars
pointed
at the wrong
part
of the horizon.

[Outro]
The prefrontal cortex
of a woman
who has decided
the next crossing
will not have
a waiting room in it
is running
a single calculation
on a loop —
*what is the cost
of staying
in the cabin*
versus
*what is the cost
of the ocean
at three
in the morning* —
and the answer
is the same answer
it has always been
and the plane
is still
out there
and you are still
not waiting
in anyone's
cabin.

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