The Axe and the Garden Party (Émilie du Châtelet)

Lyrics

[Verse 1]
She practiced
the stare
in the mirror
for three hours
before the hearing

Not too wild
Not too vacant
The exact midpoint
between lost
and dangerous
where a judge
stops asking
questions
and signs the paper

She was committed
on a Tuesday
She had ten days
to memorize
everything
because they took
her pen
at the door

[Chorus]
The food
is spoiled beef
and rancid butter
served on tin plates
to women
who cannot
complain
because complaining
is a symptom

The water
tastes like the river
it was not
filtered from

The nurses
beat the patients
who cry
and ignore
the patients
who don't

And she is memorizing
every meal
every bruise
every name
because the amygdala
is screaming
and the prefrontal cortex
is holding it shut
like a door
in a fire

To appear irrational
she must be
the most rational
person
in the building

[Verse 2]
My grandmother
fed anyone
who walked
through her door
and the food
was always
the best she had

This place
feeds suffering women
the worst
it can find
and calls it
medicine

Feeding someone
rotten food
and calling it care
is not
a failure
of the kitchen
It is the kitchen
working
exactly
as designed

[Final Chorus]
She got out
after ten days
She wrote
every detail
from memory

The article
closed the asylum
within a year

And seventy-two days
after that
she went
around the entire world
alone
because a woman
who has already
survived
the inside
of a building
designed
to make people
disappear
is not afraid
of distance

She is afraid
of the food
they are serving
right now
in a building
she cannot
get into
this time

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