Drill of Dread

Lyrics

[Intro]
Just a paper bib and a heavy lead vest.
Time for the ultimate vulnerability test.

[Verse 1]
I'm flipping through a 2014 issue of Vogue,
Trying to keep my breathing in a casual mode.
The peppermint air is remarkably crisp,
As I answer my name with a terrified lisp.
She says "Take a seat, make yourself right at home,"
Under a spotlight that chills me right to the bone.

[Chorus]
Oh, we know the drill, we’ve played this before,
Tiptoeing into the room through the door.
You tell me to open, to drop every guard,
While I sit there paralyzed, gripping too hard.
It’s a high-frequency hum, a meticulous dread,
Vibrating straight through the roof of my head.

[Verse 2]
You lean in so close with a mirror and hook,
Taking a deeply invasive, professional look.
"Are you flossing?" you ask, with your hands in my mouth,
While my confidence quietly gives way to doubt.
I’d answer the question, I’d swear that I do,
But I’m gagging on cotton and staring at you.

[Chorus]
Oh, we know the drill, we’ve played this before,
Tiptoeing into the room through the door.
You tell me to open, to drop every guard,
While I sit there paralyzed, gripping too hard.
It’s a high-frequency hum, a meticulous dread,
Vibrating straight through the roof of my head.

[Bridge]
Here is the paradox, here is the thrill:
I’m paying you handsomely just for the chill.
You scrape at the surface to get to the root,
A savior dressed up in a villainous suit.
And yet, when you finally polish them clean,
I'm strangely attached to this awful...
Well, you know what I mean.

[Outro]
So hit me with gas, make me numb to the bone,
Till I float out the lobby and find my way home.
I'm crowning you king of this terrible chair.
Just rinse and spit...
And I'll see you next year.