Odes to Joy

Love Hate Relationship, Vol IV: Phobias · Track 14 · middle

Life Sentence

Tokophobia (childbirth/pregnancy) — 'the body as battlefield, nine months of dread'. Raw, powerful.

Lyrics

[Intro]
Clock ticking, pulse skipping
The warden is already inside.

[Verse 1]
I used to own this real estate, a quiet little room
Now there’s a hostile takeover expanding in the blood
They call it a miracle, a beautiful design
But I’m a hijacked vessel and I'm running out of time
Two heartbeats echoing, a heavy, drumming sound
One of them is mine, the other holds me down.

[Chorus]
Oh, it’s a life sentence, twenty-to-life in my own skin
A beautiful invasion, where do I end and they begin?
Forty weeks of solitary, pacing up and down the hall
Waiting for the riot to finally breach the wall
It’s a life sentence...
And the jury is kicking at the bars.

[Verse 2]
It’s 3:14 AM and the furniture is moving around
A sudden phantom pressure, dragging me down
Swallowing a chalky pink One-A-Day like a desperate defense
Terrified of the swell, the sheer lack of sense
It's just biology, they say, a natural estate
But no one tells you that the host becomes the heavy weight.

[Bridge]
The magnificent terror of making a spark
You have to crack the vessel just to hold the light
I’m in awe of the power, the sheer heavy charge
But I’m paralyzed by what is waking in the night
To be the architect and the casualty all at once.

[Chorus]
Oh, it’s a life sentence, twenty-to-life in my own skin
A beautiful invasion, where do I end and they begin?
Forty weeks of solitary, pacing up and down the hall
Waiting for the riot to finally breach the wall
It’s a life sentence...
And the jury is kicking at the bars.

[Outro]
Pardon denied.
The parole board is taking their sweet time
Nine months on the clock
I’m just waiting for the lock to...
Turn.
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