Itchy & Scratchy Money

Lyrics

[Intro]
October second.
Nineteen ninety-four.
A prophecy was aired.
We should have listened more.

[Verse 1]
Meet Homer. Peak Dad Energy.
Sees a guy on the curb, sees an opportunity.
A private currency for a cartoon paradise.
Marge is like, "Homer, are you sure this isn't some kind of scam?"
"Gimme eleven hundred dollars worth!" he says.
Stuffs his wallet with the mouse and the cat heads.
A masterstroke. A financial hack.
There's no turning back.

[Chorus]
Oh, you got that Itchy & Scratchy Money.
Looks so good, doesn't it, honey?
You're gonna own this park, you're gonna live the dream.
Sorry, we only accept the issue before nineteen-ninety.
Yeah, your corporate scrip is such a beautiful thing!
It makes you wanna sing!

[Verse 2]
First concession stand, the thirst is getting real.
Slaps the funny money down, he's expecting a deal.
The kid behind the counter, dead-eyed, shakes his head.
Points to the tiny, tiny print you never should have read.
"But it's Itchy and Scratchy money!"
Homer starts to plead.
Welcome to the future, babe.
It's the corporate creed.
Your loyalty points expired yesterday.
Your airline miles don't fly to Rome.
Your JPEG's just a broken link. Welcome home.

[Chorus]
Oh, you got that Itchy & Scratchy Money.
Looks so good, doesn't it, honey?
You're gonna own this park, you're gonna live the dream.
Sorry, we only accept the issue before nineteen-ninety.
Yeah, your corporate scrip is such a beautiful thing!
It makes you wanna sing!

[Bridge]
Thank you, John Swartzwelder.
Thank you, Matt Groening.
You wrote a joke for a Sunday night,
But you were just reporting.
From Disney Dollars to a Bored Ape yacht,
From gift card balances you just forgot.
The company town with the company cash,
It was always gonna be a glorious, beautiful crash.

[Outro]
Before nineteen-ninety...
Nineteen-ninety...
Not a scam...
Not a scam...