Capital One Miles

Lyrics

[Intro]
What's in your wallet?
What's in your wallet?

[Verse 1]
Samuel L. Jackson on my screen.
So cool, so calm, so clean.
In a minimalist white room that costs more than my life.
He looks right at me, cuts me like a knife.
That famous stare.
Asks me the question like he really, truly cares.
But this isn't a movie.
It's a thirty-second play.
He just wants to know how I'm planning to pay.

[Chorus]
Oh, honey, don't you see?
This isn't a question for you or for me.
It's a scalpel, it's a scan.
Behavioral data is the master plan.
What's in your wallet?
Just open up the file.
What's in your wallet?
Now smile that Samuel L. Jackson smile.

[Verse 2]
Back in ninety-four, Richard Fairbank had a dream.
To A/B test a nation, a giant consumer stream.
A million little lab rats clicking on a screen.
Building up the algorithm, so beautifully mean.
They call it 'test-and-learn,' isn't that just sweet?
While they're packaging your habits, tying them up all neat.
From a server farm in Virginia, a friendly-sounding hum.

[Chorus]
Oh, honey, don't you see?
This isn't a question for you or for me.
It's a scalpel, it's a scan.
Behavioral data is the master plan.
What's in your wallet?
Just open up the file.
What's in your wallet?
Now smile that Samuel L. Jackson smile.

[Bridge]
They never show the empty ones, do they?
The wallets with the moths.
The crumpled receipts for ramen, the true cost of all the costs.
No, they want the Quicksilver, the plastic and the gleam.
Your late-night pizza orders.
The American dream, quantified.
Your soul as a data point.

[Outro]
What's... in... your... wallet?
What's... in... your... data profile...?