Dot-Com (1999-2001)

Lyrics

[Intro]
New paradigm.
Disruptive.
First-mover advantage.
Eyeballs.

[Verse 1]
Nineteen-ninety-nine.
Grandma's got an E-Trade account.
Says the future's online, you just gotta get the amount.
Webvan trucks gonna bring the milk, a revolution in a box.
Boo.com's selling cashmere socks.
If you could get the Flash to load.
They burned through a hundred and thirty-five million on a broken style guide and a forgotten code.
It's the new economy, babe. Get in or get old.
Every story's paved with digital gold.

[Chorus]
It's just a sock puppet on a Super Bowl ad.
It's just a promise that goes bad.
It's just a JPEG of a brighter day.
That's where Grandma's IRA went, by the way.
Dot-com, dot-gone, dot-whatever.
They said this time it was gonna last forever.
Lol.

[Verse 2]
The puppet had a float in the Macy's Day Parade.
Biggest star in the whole charade.
They said "Because pets can't drive," and we all laughed.
While the venture caps perfected the grift, the craft.
They called it "brand awareness," they called it "market share."
A billion-dollar bonfire of hot, empty air.
Joe Galli from Amazon said it was a crying shame.
He bought the warehouse for pennies. It's all part of the game.

[Chorus]
It's just a sock puppet on a Super Bowl ad.
It's just a promise that goes bad.
It's just a JPEG of a brighter day.
That's where Grandma's IRA went, by the way.
Dot-com, dot-gone, dot-whatever.
They said this time it was gonna last forever.
Cringe.

[Bridge]
I remember the ticker on the TV screen.
Green, green, green... then a color I'd never seen.
She'd say, "It's a long-term hold, Ludo, you just wait."
While Ernst and Kajsa liquidated the estate.
They sold the dream and kept the cash.
Left a generation with financial whiplash.
And a sock puppet.
Don't forget the sock puppet.

[Chorus]
It was a sock puppet on a Super Bowl ad!
It was a promise that went bad!
It was a JPEG of a brighter day!
THAT'S where Grandma's IRA went, okay?!
Dot-com, dot-gone, dot-whatever!
They said this time it was gonna last forever!
Forever...

[Outro]
They auctioned him off for a hundred K.
The trucks are rusting somewhere in the Bay.
Website not found.
Error 404.