The 23-Million-Mile Man

Lyrics

Nineteen ninety.
United Airlines makes a deal.
Two hundred and ninety thousand dollars.
For life.
They had no idea who they were dealing with.

Meet Tom Stuker. New Jersey. Sells cars.
But his real job... is flying.
Twenty-four million miles on the clock.
That's not a typo.
Three hundred seventy-three flights in 2019 alone.
Man was in the air more than he was on the ground.
Christmas in Australia for dinner.
Newark to Dubai just to take a shower.

He's the twenty-four-million-mile man.
Got a golden ticket in his hand.
Seat 1A is his address.
He just looks at the flight board and says yes.
He says, "The plane will go with or without me."
So he might as well be on it, you see.

The Polaris Lounge is his kitchen.
Knows the menu better than the chefs.
Flight attendants greet him like a king.
"Welcome back, Mr. Stuker." The usual thing.
His wife Kathy flies with him sometimes.
But she ain't got the pass.
So he's up in First, she's in the back.
That's the deal. No turning back.

He's the twenty-four-million-mile man.
Got a golden ticket in his hand.
Seat 1A is his address.
He just looks at the flight board and says yes.
He says, "The plane will go with or without me."
So he might as well be on it, you see.

Some executive in a Chicago boardroom in 1990...
Thought he made a slick deal. A quick cash grab.
Probably got a bonus for it.
Little did he know, he'd just created a legend.
A line item in the budget that never goes away.
A ghost in their machine, living his best life.
At thirty-seven thousand feet.

Twenty-four million and counting.
Right now, he's probably over an ocean.
Ordering a steak. Watching a movie.
Yeah.
The man who lives in the sky.
Tom Stuker.