Fun Size

Lyrics

[Intro]
(candy wrappers, a bowl set down on a porch rail)
"Take one," says the sign.
Nobody takes one.

[Verse 1]
There's a bowl on the porch and a sign on the bowl,
and the sign says TAKE ONE, bless its little soul.
But you and I both know how this is gonna go —
first hand in that bowl is taking four or five or more.
Fun size, they call it. Fun size. What a phrase.
Like a smaller kind of pleasure is a smaller kind of praise.

[Chorus]
Fun size, honey, fun size —
it's not the size, it's the number that you take.
Fun size, honey, fun size —
nobody ever stopped at one for goodness' sake.
It says take one. It says take one.
But the night is young and the bowl's undone —
fun size, honey. Fun size.

[Verse 2]
Now the little ones come early and they're honest and polite,
they take exactly one and they say thank you and goodnight.
But the later that it gets, the bigger that they grow,
and the costumes get creative and the manners start to go.
By eleven it's the grown folks with a pillowcase apiece —
"I'm holding this for my nephew." Sure you are. Fun size.

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
Everything is smaller and it's twice as sweet,
everything's a sample, everything's a treat.
A little bit of chocolate, a little bit of night,
a little bit of everything and none of it's a bite.
Fun size! Nobody's satisfied!
Fun size! That's the point, that's the whole design!

[Chorus]

[Outro]
(bowl scrapes, empty)
Bowl's empty by nine.
Sign's still there.
TAKE ONE.