Bedside Manner

Lyrics

[Intro]
(a clock ticking that turns into the downbeat)
Now hold still.

[Verse 1]
She came dressed as a nurse, which is not to say she nursed —
she'd tell you that herself, she'd tell you that up front and first.
"I don't have any training and I don't have any right,
but I've got a very good bedside manner and I've got all night."
Took my pulse with two fingers, said "well, that's elevated" —
and I said "ma'am, I believe that's the effect you anticipated."

[Chorus]
Bedside manner, honey, bedside manner —
it isn't what you do, it's how you do it and the manner.
Some folks have the knowledge and some folks have the care,
and the ones who have the manner, well, they're rare, they're rare.
Bedside manner. Bedside manner.
Ring the bell twice, honey. I'll be up.

[Verse 2]
Now a real nurse works twelve hours and she doesn't get a break,
and she's got a back that's ruined and a soul that doesn't ache
for one more costume party where they wear her like a joke —
so let's be honest, this ain't nursing. This is just a folk
tradition, an old story that we tell ourselves at night:
that somebody is watching, and that somebody's got it right.

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
The manner is the whole of it. That's the entire trick.
Half of feeling better is believing that you're near
enough to somebody who has nowhere else to be.
That's not a costume, honey. That's just company.
So keep the little hat and keep the little cross —
the manner's what you came for, and the manner's what you'd lose.

[Chorus]

[Outro]
(clock ticking, slowing, steady)
Rest now.
Nobody's orders.
Rest anyway.