Three Whole Jobs

Lyrics

[Intro]
(a group "YO HO" that collapses into laughing)
One word. Three jobs. We're only saying two of them.

[Verse 1]
The pirate came in swaggering with a sword that was a toy,
an eyepatch on the wrong eye and a parrot made of foil,
declaring to the party in a voice you couldn't miss
that he'd come for all the treasure — and the room went quiet quick.
'Cause we all heard the other one. We all heard it land.
Nobody had to say it. Nobody ever has to. That's the plan.

[Chorus]
Three whole jobs! One little word!
Two of them are printable and one of them you heard!
We are NOT gonna say it — we don't have to, that's the art,
the whole room said it for us and we never even start!
Three whole jobs! Not a single one to spare!
The hardest working word in the English language, I swear!

[Verse 2]
Now a proper pirate's treasure was a chest of Spanish gold,
plundered off a galleon in the days of scurvy and cold,
and a proper pirate died at thirty-one of something grim,
and nobody wrote a shanty with a single joke in it for him.
But we don't dress as history. We dress as what it BECAME:
the hat, the sword, the swagger, and the very silly name.

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
Give me a word that works that hard! Give me a word that sweats!
Give me a word so overloaded that it's practically in debt!
"Love" does three on a tennis court. "Briefs" does three in law.
"Stand" does three by midnight and it's holding up a lamp!
But this one — THIS one — does its three and walks away,
and the third one's doing all the work and never has to say.

[Chorus]

[Outro]
(mug slam, group laugh)
...The treasure.
Obviously.
Obviously.