A Verbal Fig Leaf · Track 27 · middle
Apple-Dumpling Shop
Apple-Dumpling Shop (1780s) — Grose's, and it sounds like a bakery, which is the entire trick. VOLUME: III. THE TAVERN, 1700–1899. THE DODGE THIS ERA: The dodge becomes CLASS. Grose writes the Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue and suddenly there are two vocabularies: the one for the parlour and the one for the taproom. The joke is which room you are in. Sing the AVOIDANCE, never the anatomy.
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Lyrics
[Intro] The clock strikes four. The cups are set. The shadow falls across the cabinet. [Verse 1] The china clinks against the saucer's rim, The parlour fire is burning rather still. You wear the muslin gathered at the neck, And keep the evening's wares without a fret. A gentleman must choose his phrasing now, When asking what the customs will allow. [Chorus] I will praise the apple-dumpling shop, The dusted flour, the sugar on the top. So warmly kept behind the window glass, A freezing man might linger as he passed, Just to look upon the baker's clever art, And keep the proper manners of his heart. [Verse 2] Down at the tavern where the boards are pine, They roar the very phrase I use for mine. But here across the silver serving tray, We measure out exactly what we make. The ribbon's tied, the apron's folded neat, Two different worlds upon a single street. [Bridge] I paid three shillings for the Captain’s text, To learn what word the taproom borrows next. I brought it to the drawing room today, To see if I could hide it in the frame. My mind catches on the threshold of the joke— Before the tea is poured, before I spoke. [Chorus] I will praise the apple-dumpling shop, The dusted flour, the sugar on the top. So warmly kept behind the window glass, A freezing man might linger as he passed, Just to look upon the baker's clever art, And keep the proper manners of his heart. [Outro] The tray is cleared, the evening settles down. The quietest little baker in the town. I ask if I might have another sweet, And you just smile, and look down at your feet. The oven cools. I leave the tea half-stirred.