A Verbal Fig Leaf · Track 28 · middle
Make Feet for Children's Stockings
Make Feet for Children's Stockings (1780s) — To conceive. The most beautiful evasion ever written down. VOLUME: III. THE TAVERN, 1700–1899. THE DODGE THIS ERA: The dodge becomes CLASS. Grose writes the Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue and suddenly there are two vocabularies: the one for the parlour and the one for the taproom. The joke is which room you are in. Sing the AVOIDANCE, never the anatomy.
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Lyrics
Down at the Copper Kettle, the air is thick with smoke A shilling for the claret, a farthing for the trick We look up at the windows of the manor on the rise The boys expect a vulgar noun to make the locals sick But a gentleman must wrap his dirt in something rather good To keep the parlor separate from the tavern and the mud What is the labor in the quiet and the gloom? What is the study in the upper drawing room? They are pulling out the worsted, they are working in the dark They are taking up the measure where the embers leave a spark To make feet for children's stockings To make feet for children's stockings She never heard our lexicon, she wouldn't know the smell Of the heavy, blunt artillery we toss around the bar But the brain runs a ledger before the jaw can drop Trading out the taproom for the haberdasher's door With a three-ply yarn from the Leicestershire mills We dress up our intent in a domestic kind of thrill What is the labor in the quiet and the gloom? What is the study in the upper drawing room? They are pulling out the worsted, they are working in the dark They are taking up the measure where the embers leave a spark To make feet for children's stockings To make feet for children's stockings Purl and slip, the rhythm catches hold Keeping out the winter, keeping out the damp We raise a mug of porter to the needle and the thread To the furious, blind clicking by the oil of the lamp Two vocabularies, one for them and one for us But we all know what requires such a dedicated push Just turning the heel Binding the toe A little more wool in the firelight's glow And a foot falls softly on a floor we'll never know