Odes to Joy

A Verbal Fig Leaf · Track 40 · middle

Velvet Buzzsaw

Velvet Buzzsaw (modern) — Soft and dangerous at once. Somebody was still trying. VOLUME: IV. THE LOCKER ROOM, 1900–1999. THE DODGE THIS ERA: The dodge stops being clever. Nobody is hiding from God or the parlour now — they're avoiding MIXED COMPANY, and the wit drains out. These are funny the way a nudge is funny. That's the point: the invention is going, and this volume should feel a bit dumber than the last on purpose. Sing the AVOIDANCE, never the anatomy.

No audio yet — generation pending.

Lyrics

Quarter to five on a Friday in '88
The blue Makita goes quiet, we're locking the gate
Tommy leans back on the breakroom Formica
Dying to brag about a midnight arrival
But the foreman's young kid is sweeping the floor
So Tommy checks the shadows just outside the door
His jaw locks for a second, the brain hits a wall
He grabs the cheapest metaphor to cover it all

He says he tangled with the velvet buzzsaw
Yeah, she hums like an engine when you pull on the line
Soft on the casing but she wrecks your design
The deadliest machinery a dollar could draw
It’s a clumsy collision of a fabric and a blade
But the boys in the shop understand how it’s played
Yeah, the velvet buzzsaw.

The kid with the broom looks up from the dust
Asks if the safety guard is prone to rust
Tommy winks at the guys, taps his styrofoam cup
Says, "Son, it’s not the kind of rig you just boot up.
It takes a delicate touch on the primary gear,
You push it too hard and it costs you a—"
He stops himself, coughs, stares at his boots
Protecting the boy in his innocent pursuits.

Just talking 'bout the velvet buzzsaw
Yeah, she hums like an engine when you pull on the line
Soft on the casing but she wrecks your design
The deadliest machinery a dollar could draw
It’s a clumsy collision of a fabric and a blade
But the boys in the shop understand how it’s played
Yeah, the velvet buzzsaw.

Three hundred years ago they’d write it a song
About a rose in a garden where the shadows belong
But the wit’s bleeding out on the linoleum floor
We don't have the time for the parlor no more
Just smash two cool words from a hardware display
A nudge and a grin to get out of the way

The kid goes back to sweeping the grit
Tommy leans back, pretty proud of his wit
A plush little danger, a spinning disguise
He watches the clock, and the punchline just
Dies on the air.
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