Odes to Joy

What I Was Afraid Of · Track 6 · middle

English longbow

English longbow — Medieval English war bow. Register: ancient. This song is sung BY this weapon, in first person, about the one thing IT was afraid of. Find the fear that is true of this specific object, not a generic one.

No audio yet — generation pending.

Lyrics

[Intro]


[Verse 1]
I was cut from the shadow of a churchyard yew,
Sapwood and heartwood, married in the grain.
You didn't just lift me, you grew into my truth,
A boy in the wet grass, learning how to strain.
I demanded your Sundays, the decree of the crown,
Every hour of the daylight until the sun went down.
Before your mind decided, the hemp was in your hand.

[Chorus]
I am one hundred and thirty pounds of pull.
I am the master of the long, gray rain.
I didn't just take the lives across the field—
I pulled your left scapula an inch out of line,
I took your shoulder, I took your spine.
I needed you devoted. I needed you mine.

[Verse 2]
Now I am resting on a velvet rack,
Looking through the glass at the faces walking past.
Men with soft shoulders and a hurried track,
Who never had to hold a breath and make it last.
They stare at my length, they read the little plate,
But they can't comprehend what it meant to take the weight.
I look at their hands, so unblemished and straight,
And I wonder when the killing became so lightly made.

[Chorus]
For I was one hundred and thirty pounds of pull.
I was the master of the long, gray rain.
I didn't just take the lives across the field—
I pulled your left scapula an inch out of line,
I took your shoulder, I took your spine.
I needed you devoted. I needed you mine.

[Bridge]
That is the terror of the iron tube.
The powder and the lead that requires no art.
Any untrained boy can strike a sudden spark,
Any frightened child can stop a beating heart.
They made it so easy, they made it so cheap.

I made you earn the harvest that we went to reap.

[Outro]
I twisted your skeleton to fit my shape.
You gave me your body, bone by bone.
And they traded us in.
For a flash in a pan.
For a twitch of a finger...
That doesn't even feel what it has done.
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