Odes to Joy

What I Was Afraid Of · Track 35 · middle

Maxim gun

Maxim gun — First practical fully automatic machine gun. Register: modern. This song is sung BY this weapon, in first person, about the one thing IT was afraid of. Find the fear that is true of this specific object, not a generic one.

No audio yet — generation pending.

Lyrics

[Intro]
I feed on my own violent kick.

[Verse 1]
A canvas ribbon of brass and lead,
I pull it through, the action slick,
I cycle out the empty thread.
They built me to harness the backward shock,
To swallow the blast and chamber the brass.
I sit on my tripod, a cast-iron lock,
Looking out over the flattened grass.

[Chorus]
But I am afraid of what I made you.
Before me, a man had to choose every shot.
You had to aim, you had to push through,
But I took the labor of dying and bought
It wholesale.
Just press both your thumbs to the lever and hold.
I do the math. I make the blood cold.
I made the man behind me a spare part.

[Verse 2]
Seven point five pints of water boil
Inside my brass jacket, turning to steam.
The toggle joint drops, I slick on the oil,
A perfect, self-feeding, industrial dream.
Your hands grip my heavy wooden spades,
But your mind isn't making a choice anymore.
The muscle locks down as the boundary fades,
You are just the meat that fastens me to the floor.

[Chorus]
I am afraid of what I made you.
Before me, a man had to choose every shot.
You had to aim, you had to push through,
But I took the labor of dying and bought
It wholesale.
Just press both your thumbs to the lever and hold.
I do the math. I make the blood cold.
I made the man behind me a spare part.

[Bridge]
Ten times a second, the firing pin drops.
I watched the cavalry charge at the wire,
And I turned them to geometry before the belt stops.
The sin isn't yours. It is only the fire.
You just supply the continuous weight.

[Outro]
The water is hissing. The barrel is bright.
You let go of the grips, but your hands stay curled.
You look at the field, at the arithmetic of the fight.
I am a flawless machine.
I think I subtracted the soul from the world.
Load the next belt.
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