Odes to Joy

What I Was Afraid Of · Track 43 · middle

Durandal

Durandal — Roland’s sword (*Song of Roland*). Register: fiction. This song is sung BY this weapon, in first person, about the one thing IT was afraid of. Find the fear that is true of this specific object, not a generic one.

No audio yet — generation pending.

Lyrics

[Intro]

[Verse 1]
A tooth, a drop of blood, a strand of hair, a thread of dress.
Sealed up inside my golden pommel to keep me blessed.
They built me holy, they built me cold.
They gave me a name that meant I could never fold.
For 12 years I was the end of his wrist,
Deciding before the muscle even twitched.
We swept the valleys, we cleared the pass,
Until the horn blew too late in the bloody grass.

[Chorus]
So strike me against the marble, Roland.
Bring me down with all the breath you have left.
I am terrified of the open hand.
I am terrified of the theft.
You want me to shatter so I cannot be claimed.
But I was made too well. The mountain is only stone.

[Verse 2]
He is weeping. His temples are burst and red.
He drags my edge across the heavy granite.
I want to die with him. I want to split my head.
I want to snap at the hilt and finally end it.
But the marble gives way. The cliff face cracks in two.
I am ringing in the air, totally untouched and bright.
I failed the one thing he begged me to do.
I could not break for him in the fading light.

[Chorus]
So strike me against the marble, Roland.
Bring me down with all the breath you have left.
I am terrified of the open hand.
I am terrified of the theft.
You want me to shatter so I cannot be claimed.
But I was made too well. The mountain is only stone.

[Bridge]
He lays down on the earth, his face to the southern hills.
He hides me beneath his body, a beautiful, useless weight.
I am perfectly sharp. I have no blood to spill.
The holiest thing about me was the way I learned to hate
The angels who forged me so blind.

[Outro]
He goes cold over top of me.
I am trapped in the story, shining in the dirt.
Waiting for a hand that isn't his.
The stone broke. I didn't.
I do not know how to endure this kind of quiet.
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