What I Was Afraid Of · Track 91 · middle
Barrett M82
Barrett M82 — .50 BMG anti-materiel rifle. Register: ancient. This song is sung BY this weapon, in first person, about the one thing IT was afraid of. Find the fear that is true of this specific object, not a generic one.
No audio yet — generation pending.
Lyrics
I am a long length of sleeping arithmetic. My steel legs dig into the dirt. You dial the turret, adjusting the optic, Waiting for the crosswind to invert. I was forged to shatter the engine block, To tear the radar dish blind. I am the heavy key in the heavy lock, The end of an armored line. Your pulse knocks once against my stock, And your nervous system goes still. We are a single spine on a bed of rock, Just math and a steadying will. You chamber six hundred and sixty grains, A brass pillar meant for the steel. Through the curved glass, the valley drains, And I watch the soft way that he kneels. I was made for the iron. I was built to break the iron. Why do you point me at water and bone? Through the magnification, he is close enough to touch, But it’s a mile of empty air to the stone. I am terrified of the softness. I am too vast for a fragile frame. When you fire, the heavy barrel slides back on its springs, But I cannot swallow the blame. The muzzle brake blows the whole desert sideways. The firing pin falls in the dark. For a long moment, the atmosphere frays, As the copper arcs toward the mark. In that suspension, I am painfully awake. I watch him look up at the sun. I pray for a sudden draft, a mistake, Something to leave it undone. I was made for the iron. I was built to break the iron. Why do you point me at water and bone? Through the magnification, he is close enough to touch, But it’s a mile of empty air to the stone. I am terrified of the softness. I am too vast for a fragile frame. When you fire, the heavy barrel slides back on its springs, But I cannot swallow the blame. The dust settles on my objective lens. The math was perfect. The math is always true. Fold up my legs now. I don't want to look anymore.