Sur le Bord

Lyrics

[Intro]
The nib of the pen touches nothing.
Just hovering.
A millimeter above the cream-colored paper of my carnet.
The air in the room is waiting.

[Verse 1]
It is not a word I am looking for.
Not a name.
Not like that time with Hélène at the party.
No.
This is a shape.
A whole room, just behind a frosted glass door.
I can feel the warmth of the light under the frame.
I can hear the muffled sound of a thought, having a party just for me.

[Chorus]
Sur le bord.
On the edge.
Presque vu.
The light is so bright it is only white.
So bright I cannot see what it illuminates.
My mind is a hand reaching for a key in the glare.
A feeling of knowing.
A perfect, hollow knowing.

[Verse 2]
There was a man, William James, back in 1890.
He called it a halo.
A halo of tendency around the question.
And that is it.
A humming pressure behind my eyes, the ghost of an old MRI machine.
The answer is already in my body, I feel it settling in my bones.
But my tongue cannot find the right way in.
The accent is wrong.

[Chorus]
Sur le bord.
On the edge.
Presque vu.
The light is so bright it is only white.
So bright I cannot see what it illuminates.
My mind is a hand reaching for a key in the glare.
This feeling of knowing.
This perfect, hollow knowing.

[Bridge]
And what if I stop trying?
If I put the pen down?
Let my shoulders drop.
Breathe out.
They say this is not a failure.
It is the engine, warming up.
The sound of the gears, just about to catch.
The quiet hum of the work being done in the dark.

[Outro]
The light under the door fades.
The warmth cools.
The pen is capped.
The page is still blank.
But the room is still there.
I know it is.
Waiting for me to find the right key.
Sur le bord.