L'Étreinte de l'Ombre

Lyrics

The room is the same.
The chair with my clothes, the window grey with the four a.m. city.
My own sheets, my own skin.
But something is awake that should not be.
A buzzing, just behind the ears.

I try to lift a hand to brush the grit of sleep from my eye.
The signal is sent. The wires are live.
But the hand is a stone.
My tongue is a thick root in my mouth.
The will is active, yes, but denied its means.
I try to call your name, but all that comes out is pressure, a building silence.
My breath is a shallow thing, a captured bird beating against my ribs.
And the shadows in the corner of the room… they are deepening. They are gathering.

This is the embrace of the shadow.
L'étreinte de l'ombre.
Not a hold, but a presence.
A weight on my chest, heavy as history.
Pinning me to the mattress, anchoring me to the nightmare.
The mind is a frantic moth against the glass of the skull.
The body is the world's oldest anchor.

And now a shape detaches from the dark by the doorway.
It has no face, but I feel it looking.
I feel the drop in temperature.
They called it the Old Hag in Newfoundland.
In Thailand, a ghost that presses, phi am.
It doesn't matter what you call it.
It is here.
It is the reason I cannot scream.
Its purpose is its weight.

This is the embrace of the shadow.
L'étreinte de l'ombre.
Not a hold, but a presence.
A weight on my chest, heavy as history.
Pinning me to the mattress, anchoring me to the nightmare.
The mind is a frantic moth against the glass of the skull.
The body is the world's oldest anchor.

I remember a painting. 1781.
A woman in white, an incubus on her stomach.
Füssli knew.
He must have felt this.
This absolute terror in the absolute familiar.
I am shouting your name inside my head, a silent riot.
Move a toe. Just a toe.
Fight the anchor. Break the circuit.
My whole body is vibrating now, a string pulled too tight.
Just one twitch.

And I am free.
The shadow is just a shadow again.
The weight is gone, but the impression remains.
My hand, now mine again, is trembling.
The room is the same.
I am not.