Kummerspeck

Lyrics

[Intro]
Two in the morning.
The house is breathing slow.
The kitchen light makes a perfect yellow square on the linoleum floor.

[Verse 1]
Your voice from the phone call is still in the air.
A little ghost of a signal, stuck to the ceiling.
So my bare feet find the cold floor, the path here.
To the pantry door.
The last sleeve of the Bahlsen Choco Leibniz you loved.
The silver foil unwraps like a secret.
The chocolate snaps clean.
A little geometry against the grief.
One for the shock.
The second one for the silence that came after.

[Chorus]
This is not hunger.
It is… construction.
A layer of something soft for the sharp edges of the day.
The Germans have a word for it.
Kummerspeck.
Grief bacon.
Sorrow I can swallow.

[Verse 2]
The freezer breathes a cold fog when I open it.
Hello, Mr. Ben. Hello, Mr. Jerry.
You've been waiting.
The spoon is a silver shovel.
It doesn't even taste like Phish Food tonight.
It tastes like the weight of the phone in my hand.
It tastes like the long, empty dial tone.

[Chorus]
This is not hunger.
It is… architecture.
Building a quiet insulation of sugar and fat.
A physical fact.
Kummerspeck.
Sorrow I can hold.
A heaviness to fight the emptiness.

[Bridge]
In the morning, this old sweater will be a little tighter.
This ring on my finger will feel smaller, a little compressed.
I will carry you in a new way.
Not just in my head, but on my bones.
A shield I am eating into existence.
A quiet, heavy blanket made of butter and flour and the salt from my own face.

[Outro]
Goodnight, Kummerspeck.
Goodnight, sorrow fat.
We have work to do tomorrow.