The Dirtiest Album Ever Recorded* — Vol 2 · Track 8 · middle
Candy Shop
PARODY, laundered-double-entendre album (Vol 2). Write ORIGINAL wholesome lyrics that SOUND suggestive from the title but are LITERALLY and innocently about an actual old-fashioned candy shop, jars of sweets. The dirty mind is the listener's — the song is clean, DistroKid/YouTube-safe, G-to-PG. Vintage register to the era. ⛔ CRITICAL COPYRIGHT RULE: do NOT reproduce, quote, or lightly paraphrase the source song's CHORUS/HOOK or ANY distinctive lyric line. Suno's filter WILL reject it and it creates real copyright liability. Borrow ONLY the TITLE. Invent a completely fresh hook line about an actual old-fashioned candy shop, jars of sweets. Source being parodied (title only, never its words): Candy Shop (2005). DUET: VANTA + Billie Kitt behind the counter — second voice in the STYLE, not the persona field.
Lyrics
Well hello there. Come on in out of the sun. We've been waiting for you. Sunlight hits the big glass jars on the wall, Lined up straight and standing ten feet tall. Got your licorice twists, your candy corn, your jelly beans, Every shade of orange, red, and green. The old wood floors, they creak a friendly song, You can take your time, you can take all day long. From the penny tray right up to the ceiling, Oh, it's such a wonderful feeling. Welcome to the candy shop, Just tell me when to stop. We can fill your paper bag right to the very top. Whatever you desire, you know we got it here. Come on in and make your wishes clear. Got a shiny quarter in your hand? The sweetest service in the land. Point to what you want, now don't be shy. That rock candy mountain you wanna try? I'll get the scoop and reach up high, For that special something that caught your eye. I'll weigh it on the old brass scale for you, Make sure the measurement is perfect and true. Welcome to the candy shop, Just tell me when to stop. We can fill your paper bag right to the very top. Whatever you desire, you know we got it here. Come on in and make your wishes clear. We make our fudge the old-fashioned way, A fresh dark chocolate batch for you every day. Got horehound drops to soothe your throat, And caramels so soft they make you wanna float. The sweetest vanilla scent is in the air. We handle every single piece with loving care. Everything we do, we do it just for you. Welcome to the candy shop, Just tell me when to stop. We can fill your paper bag right to the very top. Whatever you desire, you know we got it here. Come on in and make your wishes clear. There you go now, all wrapped up. Anything else I can get for you today? Alright then... be sweet, now. Come back soon.