The Dirtiest Album Ever Recorded* — Vol 2 · Track 9 · middle

Relax

PARODY, laundered-double-entendre album (Vol 2). Write ORIGINAL wholesome lyrics that SOUND suggestive from the title but are LITERALLY and innocently about a guided relaxation / meditation cassette tape. The dirty mind is the listener's — the song is clean, DistroKid/YouTube-safe, G-to-PG. Vintage register to the era. ⛔ CRITICAL COPYRIGHT RULE: do NOT reproduce, quote, or lightly paraphrase the source song's CHORUS/HOOK or ANY distinctive lyric line. Suno's filter WILL reject it and it creates real copyright liability. Borrow ONLY the TITLE. Invent a completely fresh hook line about a guided relaxation / meditation cassette tape. Source being parodied (title only, never its words): Relax (1983).

Lyrics

The year is 1983.
The shag carpet is deep beneath you.
Find your center.
Let the world outside just fall away.
Are you ready? Let's begin.
First, your breathing.
That's right.
A long, slow intake of air.
Hold it.
Hold it now.
And release.
Let your shoulders drop.
Let your jaw go slack.
There's tension there you didn't even know.
Just let it all dissolve.
When the feeling comes, you have to let it come.
Don't fight it when it starts to climb.
When the feeling comes, just let your body go numb.
We can do this for a very long time.
Just do it.
Let it happen.
Just do it.
Now.
We'll start with your feet.
Imagine a warmth, a heaviness.
Spreading slowly up your legs.
Past your knees.
It's rising now, up your thighs.
You're so heavy, you can't move.
And you don't want to.
It feels so good to finally give in.
When the feeling comes, you have to let it come.
Don't fight it when it starts to climb.
When the feeling comes, just let your body go numb.
We can do this for a very long time.
Just do it.
Let it happen.
Just do it.
Now.
Now, a golden light.
At the top of your head.
See it pouring down, inside.
Filling every part of you.
Warm and safe.
You are floating now.
Deeper and deeper you go.
There is nothing but my voice.
And this feeling, washing over you.
And when you're ready...
Slowly...
Come back to the room.
Come all the way back.
The feeling is complete.