The Dirtiest Album Ever Recorded* — Vol 3 (Finale) · Track 6 · middle
Eat Me Alive
PARODY, laundered-double-entendre album (Vol 3, the finale). Write ORIGINAL wholesome lyrics that SOUND suggestive from the title but are LITERALLY and innocently about a camping trip getting devoured by mosquitoes (comic). The dirty mind is the listener's — the song is clean, DistroKid/YouTube-safe, G-to-PG. Vintage register to era. ⛔ CRITICAL COPYRIGHT RULE: do NOT reproduce, quote, or lightly paraphrase the source song's CHORUS/HOOK or ANY distinctive lyric line (even the famous tag line). Suno's filter WILL reject it and it creates real copyright liability. Borrow ONLY the general TITLE idea. Invent a completely fresh hook about a camping trip getting devoured by mosquitoes (comic). Source parodied (idea only, never its words): Eat Me Alive (1984).
Lyrics
Packed up the station wagon, headed north on 51. Found a spot at Willow Creek, just before the setting sun. Pitched the tent, rolled out the bags, felt the city stress just melt. The air was sweet with pine and damp, the best I'd ever felt. I sat there on the cooler, watching fireflies ignite. Didn't know they were the opening act for the feast tonight. They're coming for me, a tiny humming sound. They're swarming 'round my ankles, they're covering the ground. Oh, they're gonna eat me alive tonight. I feel them on my bare skin, so hungry for a bite. It starts out as a tickle, then it gets so very tight. Yeah, they're gonna eat me alive tonight. I grabbed the can of bug spray, the one that promised "Deep Woods Dry." I sprayed it on my t-shirt, I sprayed it in my eye. It didn't seem to matter, they just took it as a dare. They dove right through the toxic cloud and tangled in my hair. I ran inside the nylon tent, I zipped it up with all my might. But one of them, the big one, he came in to spend the night. They're coming for me, a tiny humming sound. They're swarming 'round my ankles, they're covering the ground. Oh, they're gonna eat me alive tonight. I feel them on my bare skin, so hungry for a bite. It starts out as a tickle, then it gets so very tight. Yeah, they're gonna eat me alive tonight. My body is a roadmap of their little love affairs. A welt upon my elbow, another one... elsewhere. I came to find my quiet place, a moment of release. Instead I'm in an all-out war, and I will find no peace. They pierce me and they take from me, a hundred times or more. This isn't what I signed up for! Forget the dawn, forget the dew, I'm tearing down the camp. I'm throwing everything in the trunk, my sleeping bag is damp. I'm driving home at 2 AM, with the windows up and sealed. The sheer delight of what they got has finally been revealed. They ate me alive...