The Dirtiest Album Ever Recorded* — Vol 3 (Finale) · Track 10 · middle
Ain't Too Proud to Beg
PARODY, laundered-double-entendre album (Vol 3, the finale). Write ORIGINAL wholesome lyrics that SOUND suggestive from the title but are LITERALLY and innocently about a good dog begging politely for scraps at the dinner table. The dirty mind is the listener's — the song is clean, DistroKid/YouTube-safe, G-to-PG. Vintage register to era. ⛔ CRITICAL COPYRIGHT RULE: do NOT reproduce, quote, or lightly paraphrase the source song's CHORUS/HOOK or ANY distinctive lyric line (even the famous tag line). Suno's filter WILL reject it and it creates real copyright liability. Borrow ONLY the general TITLE idea. Invent a completely fresh hook about a good dog begging politely for scraps at the dinner table. Source parodied (idea only, never its words): Ain't 2 Proud 2 Beg (1992).
Lyrics
Six-thirty on a Tuesday. The forks are laid out on the oak. Smell of roast chicken in the hallway. And someone's waiting, holding out for hope. There's a thump-thump-thump on the floorboards. A low, steady rhythm of the tail. Just under the table, our boy Gus is holding court. He's playing the long game, he knows he can't fail. He settles his chin on his paws. A picture of patience, a study in grace. He knows all our little laws. And he knows just how to work this place. Oh, that look in your eye, it says you need it. That little sigh, you can't conceal it. You got your pride, but you'll concede it. 'Cause you know what you want, and you ain't too proud to beg. No, you ain't too proud to beg. He makes his first move on young Emily. A gentle lean against her knee. A wet nose nudge, so tenderly. Just a quiet question: "Anything for me?" Then he turns his head to Arthur. Raises those eyebrows, lets his eyes go wide. The look that could melt a martyr. There's nowhere for a soft heart to hide. Oh, that look in your eye, it says you need it. That little sigh, you can't conceal it. You got your pride, but you'll concede it. 'Cause you know what you want, and you ain't too proud to beg. No, you ain't too proud to beg. Clara says, "Now, Arthur, don't you dare." And "Gus, you've had your dinner." But even she can't help but stare At our sweet, furry, four-legged sinner. He doesn't bark, he doesn't whine. He just offers up this silent plea. It's an art form, it's a grand design. For a little piece of what we're having, you see. Oh, that look in your eye, it says you need it. That little sigh, you can't conceal it. You got your pride, but you'll concede it. 'Cause you know what you want, and you ain't too proud to beg. Oh, you ain't too proud to beg. A single green bean falls from grace. A quick, soft snatch, and not a trace. Just a thump-thump-thump on the floorboards. Yeah, he got what he wanted. He ain't too proud.