The Dirtiest Album Ever Recorded* · Track 11 · middle
Pony
PARODY, laundered-double-entendre album. Write ORIGINAL wholesome lyrics that SOUND suggestive from the title but are LITERALLY and innocently about a beloved actual pony at the petting stable. The joke is that the dirty mind is the listener's — the song itself is clean, catalog-safe (DistroKid/YouTube-safe), G-to-PG. Vintage register to match the era. NEVER reproduce or paraphrase the source song's actual lyrics — only borrow the TITLE energy. Source being parodied: Pony (1996).
Lyrics
Down at O'Malley's Happy Trails... Sun's high in the sky. There he is, standing in his stall. Clover is his name, I recall. Piebald coat, white and dark. Shaggy mane that stole my heart. Farmer O'Malley, with a patient chuckle, polishes a little brass buckle on the leather bridle, soft and worn. Been this way since I was born. Oh, if you're waiting for a treat, come on, take a little seat. My pony, my pony. Just a slow and gentle ride, nothing you have to hide. My pony, oh, my pony. He leads him out, it's May 14, 1948. The best little friend I've made. He helps me up on the wooden saddle, keeps me steady, wins the battle with my wobbly legs and my silly fears. He's been doing this for years and years. Daisy Mae Higgins waits by the fence with an apple slice, it makes perfect sense. Oh, if you're waiting for a treat, come on, take a little seat. My pony, my pony. Just a slow and gentle ride, nothing you have to hide. My pony, oh, my pony. The air smells sweet with grass and hay. He just plods along, come what may. I pat his neck, his coat is warm, safe and sound from any storm. His velvet muzzle, soft and deep, secrets that a pony keep. A gentle soul, a simple friend, a perfect day that shouldn't end. Yeah... my pony. My sweet little pony. Time to go home now...