The Dirtiest Album Ever Recorded* · Track 14 · middle
Je t'aime
PARODY, laundered-double-entendre album. Write ORIGINAL wholesome lyrics that SOUND suggestive from the title but are LITERALLY and innocently about two friends sighing with pleasure over an exquisite dinner. The joke is that the dirty mind is the listener's — the song itself is clean, catalog-safe (DistroKid/YouTube-safe), G-to-PG. Vintage register to match the era. NEVER reproduce or paraphrase the source song's actual lyrics — only borrow the TITLE energy. Source being parodied: Je t'aime… moi non plus (1969). DUET: VANTA + Murphy Colette, breathy but entirely about the food — counter-voice in the style.
Lyrics
Oh... yes... Right here... The table is ready. This starched Irish linen... so crisp. And the silver... so heavy in my hand. They're bringing the first one now... Coquilles Saint-Jacques... Look at them... seared just so. Oh... the moment the fork... goes in... So... tender... Ah... this feeling... I know... This slow, deep... satisfaction. Mmm, satisfaction... Oh, how I love this. I love this too. And now... the main event. Is that... Madeira... I smell? Tournedos Rossini. They say it's been perfect since 1965. The foie gras... it just melts... And the truffle... right on top... Don't speak... just... let it happen. It's just... so complete. Ah... this feeling... I know... I know... This slow, deep... satisfaction. Mmm, satisfaction... Oh, how I love this. I love this too. It's rising... can you see it? So high... so delicate... Grand Marnier... hold your breath. If we wait too long... it will fall... We have to go in... now. Ohhh... It disappears on the tongue. Just... gone. Ahhh... Perfect. Simply... perfect. Again... soon. Yes... soon.