The Dirtiest Album Ever Recorded* · Track 17 · middle

Satisfaction

PARODY, laundered-double-entendre album. Write ORIGINAL wholesome lyrics that SOUND suggestive from the title but are LITERALLY and innocently about filling out a customer-satisfaction survey (can't get no). The joke is that the dirty mind is the listener's — the song itself is clean, catalog-safe (DistroKid/YouTube-safe), G-to-PG. Vintage register to match the era. NEVER reproduce or paraphrase the source song's actual lyrics — only borrow the TITLE energy. Source being parodied: (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction (1965).

Lyrics

[Intro]
I'm trying to make my comment here.
Just trying to make my meaning clear.

[Verse 1]
Got this paper in my hand, a ballpoint pen, it's the house brand.
But the ink just comes and goes, like a river, I suppose.
And a man on the P.A. system, he's telling me more and more
about some useless information, meant to fire my imagination.

[Chorus]
I can't get no satisfaction.
I can't get no satisfaction.
'Cause I try, and I try, and I try, and I try.
I can't get no... I can't get no...
When I'm filling in my form,
and the data won't conform.
And I'm told I need to be,
so much more specific, see.

[Verse 2]
When I'm sitting in this booth, and I'm trying to tell the truth.
About the service and the ware, but the questions are a snare.
What's my income, what's my age?
On this thin and flimsy page.
Is this really how it's done?
For a survey, number one?

[Chorus]
I can't get no satisfaction.
I can't get no satisfaction.
'Cause I try, and I try, and I try, and I try.
I can't get no... I can't get no...

[Bridge]
Got to find a five-cent stamp.
My writing hand is getting a cramp.
Lick the flap and seal it tight,
post it in the morning light.
Or just crumple up the sheet...
and admit my own defeat.

[Outro]
No satisfaction.
No, no, no.
No satisfaction.
No, no, no.
My form-fill satisfaction.
Can't get none.
Can't get none.
Just this cheap old pen.