Three Sheets to Kishkiyya · Track 8 · middle
Drunk as a Wheel-Barrow
VOLUME I — being gloriously, world-tilting DRUNK (the night at full tilt). The idiom and the song's title hook: "Drunk as a Wheel-Barrow". Its true history: American colonies, 1737 — from Benjamin Franklin's Drinker's Dictionary; a wheelbarrow is awkward and unsteady when pushed, a perfect image for a staggering drunk. Render this beat of the night as the band's affectionate, funny, celebratory tribute — the idiom itself is the chorus hook.
Lyrics
[Intro] Ladies and gentlemen, step to the ropes! The challenger is loose and she’s testing the slopes! [Verse 1] Back in 1737, old Ben Franklin took his pen To chart the heavy hitters where the local taverns rise. He printed up a dictionary, watching all the men Take a dozen phantom punches with a fire in their mind. Now look at our contender on the cobblestone tonight Listing to the starboard, stepping up to the fight... wait, no, just leaning on a wall. [Chorus] She's drunk as a wheelbarrow! Heavy in the basin, slippery in the handle, Watch her tip the axle, watch her lose a sandal. You steer her to the left, she's gonna wobble to the right, Drunk as a wheelbarrow, champion of the night! [Verse 2] You gotta hoist her by the elbows just to get her to the street She's got one wheel spinning and it's catching on the rug. The center of her balance is a shuffling of feet But man, she takes the corner with a champion's nudge. A magnificent disaster with a glorious design Spilling half her cargo in a crooked little line. [Chorus] 'Cause she's drunk as a wheelbarrow! Heavy in the basin, slippery in the handle, Watch her tip the axle, watch her lose a sandal. You steer her to the left, she's gonna wobble to the right, Drunk as a wheelbarrow, champion of the night! [Bridge] Ten seconds on the clock! Will she make it to the door? She’s bouncing off the doorframe, she's aiming for the floor. But Franklin knew a winner when he saw the payload spill She’s carrying the glory, yeah she's rolling up the hill. [Outro] Call the match! Someone grab the handles before she tips again! 1737 rules apply! Goodnight, Philadelphia! Keep rolling!