Three Sheets to Kishkiyya · Track 10 · middle
Legless
VOLUME I — being gloriously, world-tilting DRUNK (the night at full tilt). The idiom and the song's title hook: "Legless". Its true history: UK/Australia, post-WWII — so drunk you've no working legs left; you cannot stand or walk. Render this beat of the night as the band's affectionate, funny, celebratory tribute — the idiom itself is the chorus hook.
Lyrics
[Intro] I watched you order the final glass And suddenly your center of balance became a thing of the past You smiled at the ceiling, you waved at the moon And melted right into the smoke of the room I scooped you up from the sticky tile To carry you out in my own special style [Chorus] You went legless, my darling, a beautiful heap Like a boy out of uniform in 1945, falling asleep Somewhere in Sydney or London, leaving his boots at the bar You're totally legless, and I am your getaway car No walking, no standing, just dead weight and charm Draped like a prize across my right arm [Verse 2] You try to be helpful, pointing at cars But your knees are negotiating with the stars You're a liquid puddle, a sack of warm grain Hauling my glorious mess through the shade You whisper a secret to the pavement stone I'm just the lucky saint dragging you home [Chorus] 'Cause you're legless, my darling, a beautiful heap Like a boy out of uniform in 1945, falling asleep Somewhere in Sydney or London, leaving his boots at the bar You're totally legless, and I am your getaway car No walking, no standing, just dead weight and charm Draped like a prize across my right arm [Bridge] I remember you spinning around Now you're magnetically pulled to the ground Holding you up by the loops of your jeans The heaviest feather I've ever seen [Outro] So much for elegance, so much for grace I wipe a wet leaf off the side of your face We made it to the sofa, you're safe in the dark You don't need your legs when you've made such a mark... I'll just leave your shoes on the rug right here.