Three Sheets to Kishkiyya · Track 26 · middle
Break the Seal
VOLUME II — the sudden, urgent pilgrimage to the BATHROOM. The idiom and the song's title hook: "Break the Seal". Its true history: 20th c. — the first urination after you start drinking 'breaks the seal' on the bladder and the floodgates open; the hinge of the whole night. Render this beat of the night as the band's affectionate, funny, celebratory tribute — the idiom itself is the chorus hook.
Lyrics
[Intro] Red alert on the second floor! Make a path! [Verse 1] I’ve been guarding the gates for a solid hour Three drinks deep, I’m a leaning tower My ankles are crossed and my left knee jitters I'm swallowing down the carbonated shivers I’m eyeing the distance to the swinging door But I know the trap of this linoleum floor If I hold it together, I stay in the race If I cross that room, I lose my shape [Chorus] Don't break the seal! That 20th-century collegiate myth The anatomical ghost we're wrestling with Once you crack the lock, you know exactly how it feels You break the seal And the floodgates open for the rest of the night Yeah, the river runs wild and you give up the fight [Verse 2] But the pressure is rising, the sirens are loud I'm dodging the elbows, I'm splitting the crowd It’s a building on fire, an emergency sprint I'm taking the neon's flickering hint I hit the cold tile under humming tubes Stepping right over the spilled-out booze Now I'm bound to this hallway every twenty minutes flat I traded my freedom for a damp rubber mat [Bridge] They say it’s just the chemistry, the liquids blending But I swear it's a physical barrier bending A magical valve that holds back the sea And it just gave way inside of me I crossed the Rubicon at the porcelain brink [Chorus] Because I broke the seal! That 20th-century collegiate myth The anatomical ghost we're wrestling with Once you crack the lock, you know exactly how it feels You break the seal And the floodgates open for the rest of the night Yeah, the river runs wild and you give up the fight [Outro] Here we go again Make a path, make a path! Twenty minutes on the dot, man Leave my jacket on the chair The floodgates are open The seal is broken I'll be right back!