Three Sheets to Kishkiyya · Track 27 · middle
See a Man About a Horse
VOLUME II — the sudden, urgent pilgrimage to the BATHROOM. The idiom and the song's title hook: "See a Man About a Horse". Its true history: UK, c.1865 — a vague, polite excuse for slipping away; the nonspecific animal gives plausible deniability. Render this beat of the night as the band's affectionate, funny, celebratory tribute — the idiom itself is the chorus hook.
Lyrics
[Verse 1] The rounds keep coming and I'm holding the floor Telling you a story that you've never heard before But right around midnight, a pressure starts to build And a certain sort of vessel might just spill Back in 1865, in the thickest London fog A gentleman would never say he's sprinting for the bog He needed an alibi, a fiction to endorse Plausible deniability, of course [Chorus] So I gotta see a man about a horse Just a sudden bit of commerce to enforce Pardon my departure from this very fine discourse I simply gotta see a man about a horse He's a very impatient breed. [Verse 2] I tap my breast pocket like I’ve got a heavy trade Looking like a baron with a private hand to play I swagger through the tables, keeping up the ruse Hiding that my boots are on a desperate cruise It’s a beautiful trick, this phantom equine ghost Taking all the credit when the panic gets close He doesn't eat oats and he doesn't need a comb But he's driving me straight to the porcelain zone [Chorus] 'Cause I gotta see a man about a horse Just a sudden bit of commerce to enforce Pardon my departure from this very fine discourse I simply gotta see a man about a horse [Bridge] The saddle is slipping, the harness is tight I’m holding the reins of the best lie of the night Nobody questions a guy on a quest When he walks with a swagger and quickens his step [Outro] Yeah, the stallion is restless Just point me down the hallway, my friends A quick negotiation by the tile wall I'll be right back to buy another round Unless the breeder doesn't show up Which is fine.