Three Sheets to Kishkiyya · Track 30 · middle
Powder My Nose
VOLUME II — the sudden, urgent pilgrimage to the BATHROOM. The idiom and the song's title hook: "Powder My Nose". Its true history: UK/US, 18-19th c. — from powder rooms; the genteel ladies' euphemism for the lavatory. Render this beat of the night as the band's affectionate, funny, celebratory tribute — the idiom itself is the chorus hook.
Lyrics
[Intro] Oh, heavens! The moment has arrived. [Verse 1] Excuse me, darling, the gin is a dream But I feel a sudden tear in the seam It's not your conversation lacking grace It's the terrible pressure down in my waist I'm crossing the sticky tile with absolute charm A sovereign ringing the silent alarm [Chorus] I simply must powder my nose! A delicate lady in desperate throes I'm holding my breath and striking a pose While the internal reservoir overflows Oh, hand me my clutch, my complexion is glowing But the tide in the harbor is rapidly moving I have to powder my nose! [Verse 2] Back in the 18th century, high British courts The duchesses smiled through the heaviest thoughts Into the anteroom, white lead in the air To hide the chamber pot under the stair So I channel my ancestors, tragic and proud Parting this sweaty, magnificent ground [Chorus] Because I must powder my nose! A delicate lady in desperate throes I'm holding my breath and striking a pose While the internal reservoir overflows Oh, hand me my clutch, my complexion is glowing But the tide in the harbor is rapidly moving I have to powder my nose! [Bridge] Left foot, right foot, keep the chin high Don't let them see the wild glaze in my eye It's a pilgrimage cloaked in a velvet disguise A beautiful lie for a beautiful prize [Outro] The powder room calls, the sanctuary gleams The lavatory answers my fanciest dreams Yes, my nose needs a dusting, my dignity's kept And the stall door is securely bolted, thank goodness for that.