Three Sheets to Kishkiyya · Track 32 · middle
The Call of Nature
VOLUME II — the sudden, urgent pilgrimage to the BATHROOM. The idiom and the song's title hook: "The Call of Nature". Its true history: English, 18th c. on — the natural, unavoidable bodily urge, answered here with mock gravity. Render this beat of the night as the band's affectionate, funny, celebratory tribute — the idiom itself is the chorus hook.
Lyrics
[Intro] Consider the biology of the evening. The volume of liquid, the passage of time. [Verse 1] In the middle of the 18th century When Georgian wigs were powdered and grand They needed a word for the chamber pot That politely excused the man So they looked to the woods and the pastoral hills For a summons that sounded divine To explain why a patron abandons his cup And leaves the lively crowd behind [Chorus] It is the Call of Nature The oldest trumpet in the dark It rings across the tavern floor And lights a sudden, urgent spark You cannot bargain with the clock You cannot put the urge on hold When the Call of Nature sounds You walk the path that you are told [Verse 2] I watch our hero in her current state A sudden widening of the eye The realization that the pints of stout Are waving a brief goodbye She navigates the crowded chairs With a most determined, careful pace A pilgrim on a sacred march To find the tiled, echoing space [Bridge] It levels the duke and the commoner This biological mandate of ours From the drawing rooms of old England To the neon of these local bars The bladder knows no royalty It only knows the hour is late To answer the ancient, rushing stream And leave the table to its fate [Chorus] For it is the Call of Nature The oldest trumpet in the dark It rings across the tavern floor And lights a sudden, urgent spark You cannot bargain with the clock You cannot put the urge on hold When the Call of Nature sounds You walk the path that you are told [Outro] So march on down that narrow hall Through the sticky floor and the dimming light We will guard your stool until you return From the most natural journey of the night. Assuming you find the proper door.