Three Sheets to Kishkiyya · Track 33 · middle

Pay a Visit to Mrs. Jones

VOLUME II — the sudden, urgent pilgrimage to the BATHROOM. The idiom and the song's title hook: "Pay a Visit to Mrs. Jones". Its true history: UK, Victorian — a respectable generic woman's name standing in politely for the toilet. Render this beat of the night as the band's affectionate, funny, celebratory tribute — the idiom itself is the chorus hook.

Lyrics

[Verse 1]
Gather round, let me tell you of a high-society dash,
When the spirits in your belly make a sudden kind of splash.
Sisu's smiling brightly, but she’s tapping on her shoes,
Got the jimjam-jitters from the rhythm and the booze.
Back in 1880 London, they wouldn’t dare explain,
The necessary plumbing when the body felt the ache.
So they conjured up a phantom, a generic, proper name,
To stand in for the toilet without any of the shame.

[Chorus]
Make way, she’s gotta pay a visit to Mrs. Jones!
The finest imaginary hostess that a thirsty sinner knows.
It’s a polite little pilgrimage, a tiptoe through the hall,
To the respectable fiction waiting in the painted stall.

[Verse 2]
It’s a flimflam sort of hustle, with a teacup-holding grace,
Trying not to show the panic taking over every shape.
Just a generic parlor-woman standing in for the commode,
As Sisukiro hurries across the sticky tavern floor.

[Chorus]
Make way, she’s gotta pay a visit to Mrs. Jones!
The finest imaginary hostess that a thirsty sinner knows.
It’s a polite little pilgrimage, a tiptoe through the hall,
To the respectable fiction waiting in the painted stall.

[Bridge]
Excuse me, pardon me, a tip of the hat,
The cider is striking a sudden match.
She ain't real, this Mrs. Jones, but she calls us all the same,
The most dignified evasion in the history of the age.

[Outro]
She’s knocking on the parlor door.
Hope the good lady is receiving.
Just a quick little visit to Mrs. Jones...
Give her my regards when you... finally find the latch.