Three Sheets to Kishkiyya · Track 34 · middle
Jimmy Riddle
VOLUME II — the sudden, urgent pilgrimage to the BATHROOM. The idiom and the song's title hook: "Jimmy Riddle". Its true history: UK, 20th c. — Cockney rhyming slang: Jimmy Riddle = piddle. Render this beat of the night as the band's affectionate, funny, celebratory tribute — the idiom itself is the chorus hook.
Lyrics
[Intro] [Verse 1] I was spinning on the floorboards by the stroke of ten, A gentleman of leisure with my fellow men. But a couple pints of stout will enact a toll, A sudden urgent tapping on the mortal soul. Excuse me, gents, I have a pressing date, A crowded hallway I must negotiate. It hits you like a whistle from a runaway train. [Chorus] I’m off to see a Jimmy Riddle! Step in time and play the fiddle! Born in the 20th century East End fog, Just a polite little dash for the thirsty dog. If you're drinking within earshot of the old Bow Bells, It’s the grandest frantic story that a tavern tells. Make way, make way, I’m in a little bind, Got a Jimmy Riddle weighing on my monkey mind! [Verse 2] Squeezing past the tables and the swinging door, My patent leather sliding on the sticky board. It’s a secret rhyming language from the London streets, So you never have to shock the velvet seats. You keep your chin up and your bowler straight, Even when the porcelain simply will not wait. A wink to the bartender as you shuffle on by. [Bridge] Apples and pears to get up the stairs! Whistle and flute, looking so astute! But Jimmy is the fellow who is calling the tune, And I really need to meet him in the washroom soon. I’m moving with a dignified, desperate glide, Just a man and his biology, side by side. [Chorus] I’m off to see a Jimmy Riddle! Step in time and play the fiddle! Born in the 20th century East End fog, Just a polite little dash for the thirsty dog. If you're drinking within earshot of the old Bow Bells, It’s the grandest frantic story that a tavern tells. Make way, make way, I’m in a little bind, Got a Jimmy Riddle weighing on my monkey mind! [Outro] Ah, Jimmy, you magnificent rogue. I'll be right back, lads. Keep my glass full. Just a quick riddle. Right then.