Three Sheets to Kishkiyya · Track 36 · middle
Take the Browns to the Super Bowl
VOLUME II — the sudden, urgent pilgrimage to the BATHROOM. The idiom and the song's title hook: "Take the Browns to the Super Bowl". Its true history: US, late 20th c. — sports humor: the Browns to the big-game bowl; a barker's call. Render this beat of the night as the band's affectionate, funny, celebratory tribute — the idiom itself is the chorus hook.
Lyrics
[Intro] Step right up, sports fans, to the main event! The stadium is rumbling, the hour is spent. [Verse 1] Heavyweight champion of the neon bar She’s carrying the weight of a heavy spark Now the clock is ticking and the pressure builds The defensive line of her courage yields She squares her shoulders, she checks the hall A seventy-yard dash to the bathroom stall The crowd divides for the sudden sprint With a champion's focus and a frantic flinch [Chorus] We are taking the Browns to the Super Bowl! The ultimate late 1980s goal It’s a porcelain trophy, it’s a shining ring The rusted underdog is finally king Clear the path, let the trumpets blow Take the Browns to the Super Bowl! [Verse 2] Born in the heartbreak of the US rust belt Where a genuine victory was rarely dealt They gave the glory to the locker room door And marched their boys across the sticky floor She is bobbing and weaving past the velvet rope Carrying the burden of a franchise hope Just a couple more yards to the promised land With a heavy sweat and a trembling stance [Chorus] We are taking the Browns to the Super Bowl! The ultimate late 1980s goal It’s a porcelain trophy, it’s a shining ring The rusted underdog is finally king Clear the path, let the trumpets blow Take the Browns to the Super Bowl! [Bridge] Fourth down, goal line, the tension is thick The handle is jammed, you gotta twist it quick Throwing an elbow through the swinging wood Making a play like a legend should And the crowd goes quiet as the deadbolt clicks in [Chorus] Yeah, we're taking the Browns to the Super Bowl! The ultimate late 1980s goal It’s a porcelain trophy, it’s a shining ring The rusted underdog is finally king Clear the path, let the trumpets blow Take the Browns to the Super Bowl! [Outro] A flawless victory in the tiled dome. She finally brought the championship home.