Three Sheets to Kishkiyya · Track 38 · middle

Go to the Jacks

VOLUME II — the sudden, urgent pilgrimage to the BATHROOM. The idiom and the song's title hook: "Go to the Jacks". Its true history: Ireland/UK, 20th c. — from the Tudor-era 'jakes,' meaning a privy. Render this beat of the night as the band's affectionate, funny, celebratory tribute — the idiom itself is the chorus hook.

Lyrics

[Intro]
Watch my glass, boys. I'm taking a walk.

[Verse 1]
There’s a glorious pressure building down in the dark
Six pints of heavy stout and a beating heart
I’m navigating the tables, sliding past the band
Like the undisputed sovereign of this sticky terrain
Part the red sea of elbows, let a champion through
I’ve got a highly important rendezvous

[Chorus]
I’m going to the jacks, making my royal run
Where the neon flickers and the porcelain’s won
It’s a noble tradition from the Tudor days
When a courtier hit the jakes in a velvet haze
Yeah, I’m stepping to the jacks, tip my hat to the crown
The finest gentleman stagger in the whole loud town

[Verse 2]
It’s a 20th-century Irish linguistic delight
Dropped the ‘e’, kept the swagger for my Saturday stride
Got the nod from the barman, got a wink from the door
Every step is a triumph on this checkered floor
I read the wisdom scrawled in the marker pen blue
A little poetry on the plaster to pull me through

[Chorus]
‘Cause I’m going to the jacks, making my royal run
Where the neon flickers and the porcelain’s won
It’s a noble tradition from the Tudor days
When a courtier hit the jakes in a velvet haze
Yeah, I’m stepping to the jacks, tip my hat to the crown
The finest gentleman stagger in the whole loud town

[Bridge]
Oh, the cold water tap is a holy font
Splash the face, shake it off, taking all that I want
Check the mirror, looking sharp, not a hair out of line
Ready to return to the glorious grind

[Outro]
Make way for the king, coming back to the room
I conquered the jacks
And I didn't even spill my... well, maybe just a drop on the shoe