Three Sheets to Kishkiyya · Track 113 · middle
Umeboshi
VOLUME V — the CURES, crawling back to life. The idiom and the song's title hook: "Umeboshi". Its true history: Japan — the intensely sour, salty pickled plum, taken to settle the stomach; a deadpan pucker. Render this beat of the night as the band's affectionate, funny, celebratory tribute — the idiom itself is the chorus hook.
Lyrics
[Intro] Just open your mouth. I promise this will hurt. [Verse 1] You look like a crumpled paper napkin Left out on the avenue in the rain. I brought you a little red medicine To totally short-circuit your brain. It is wrinkled like a tiny alien head, Sitting on a bowl of rice. Don’t stare at it, just do what I said. I am not asking you twice. [Chorus] Umeboshi. The spiky little deadpan pucker. Umeboshi. You thought it was candy, you poor sucker. Salt and acid, the ancient sting, Swallow the plum and let your jawbone wring. Umeboshi. [Verse 2] In the 15th century, the samurai Kept a stash wrapped up in their packs, To stop themselves from dropping dead During very long, heat-stroke attacks. Dyed bright crimson with the shiso leaf, Now it is here to bring your stomach some relief. Yes, your grand battle was mostly at the bar. But the plum does not judge who you are. [Chorus] Umeboshi. The spiky little deadpan pucker. Umeboshi. You thought it was candy, you poor sucker. Salt and acid, the ancient sting, Swallow the plum and let your jawbone wring. Umeboshi. [Bridge] Watch the left eye water. Watch both of the cheeks cave in. A sudden and violent electrical shudder From your hairline down to your chin. That is the flavor of survival, my dear. The saltiest reset button of the year. [Outro] Blink twice if your pulse has returned. See? The color is coming back. Thank the pickled plum. Umeboshi. Don't spit it out. Just swallow the pit. Or don't. Whatever.